Some vent art.
All those things are things people have said to me or I believe they think of me. (My social anxiety at it's finest.)
I was bullied through elementary and middle school. It died down around year 8 but even now, I still have a few people who pick on me/bully me. I never really told anyone so I don't know if my friends would believe me when I say I am/was being bullied.
To this day, I still don't know why I was bullied. I acted a little different than everyone else. I maybe had one REAL friend. I had a lot of "friends" who I know they didn't like me but I hung out with them because I had no one else. I would try to stay inside during recess because I would just sit there and watch everyone else play anyways. I wasn't a hyper kid. I was quiet and shy. A few times the bullying got psychical but it's been mostly verbal. Which hurts just as bad.
I'm probably just a good target for bullying. I'm sensitive and nice and I really care about people. But I'm also sensitive to what people have to say about me. I even have a hard time accepting light criticism. But I don't see a motive for people to bully me. I don't provoke it in anyway. I'm never mean to anyone. I have depression and social anxiety, which doesn't help anything. I've been officially diagnosed with depression for about 4 months but my psychologist thinks I've had it for years. Depression runs in my family but I think the cause is my mom's cancer. She's had cancer all of my life and I've had to see everything she has had to go through. She's fighting horrible after effects now but it's not better. I've see it so up close that I feel like I have cancer myself and that having cancer will be my fate when I'm older. I feel like no one can comprehend what I feel. People have put me down for having depression. People have said that my sadness is my own fault. And that I'm just being an attention whore. And that's not the case. I think they think I'm an attention whore because I talk about my problems over the internet. I do that not so that people will think "Ohhh poor you!" I do it in the hopes that someone will read it and say something so I know that someone actually cares about me. If I post it online, you have a choice of reading it or ignoring it. Because I feel I'm not worth someone's time. It's hard for me to walk up to someone and talk about what's going on. I always feel like laughing because I don't want to seem too serious. I don't want to make the person feel obligated to give me good advice.
Bullying really needs to stop. I can't understand why someone would get pleasure out of torturing an innocent person. I wish I would have told someone I was being bullied.
Stupid. Goth. "Goth girl". (This one came from year 6. People though I was goth. I didn't wear lighter colors. That's it. In no way shape or form was I a "goth". People locked me out of the classroom and were laughing and telling people not to let in the "goth girl".) Just look at you! Hahaha! Go die. Emo faggot. (I'm not going to lie, I've cut myself. I wouldn't say I'm emo though. I don't even understand that term) No one will ever love you. Fat. Ugly. Bitch. Nerd. No life. Retard. Disturbing. Just go cut yourself. No one likes you.